I sometimes hear this phrase when meeting with a new client and their dog. "This is the ______ fill in the blank - dumbest - most obstinate - stubborn - dog I have ever met." I don't take offense nor do I judge the person when I hear these statements. I am hearing loud of clear that things are out of balance and communication is just not happening. I realize I am needed and I am happy to reply, "I can help!"
There are often a myriad of reasons why the person has come to this conclusion. As I help them sort things out and start communicating, behaviors generally turn around. But, I might add, only if the human part of the equation is willing to think another way or, as I like to say, write another story.
We often write a story about our dogs. We are quite good at it really. But here's the thing...your dog will live up to the story you are telling. They will meet the bar. Once we have our mind made up, we don't realize the body language cues we are giving to our dog. We also don't realize that our dogs can not understand our phrases, "don't do that", "now see you are all wound up", "stop it, just stop it."
Here are a few good suggestions as you start on your journey of communicating with your new dog. Whatever you are feeling or projecting about your dog try hard not to. Instead, try this - if you don't like what your dog is doing, think about what you would like your dog to do. Start a new conversation. I don't like what you are doing_____________ fill in the blank, so I will ask you to do this. That's were our communication foundation comes in. Building a foundation of understanding takes time and you have to start at the beginning. A B C....then words sit, down, stay and then concepts (sentences). You come when I call you and walk by my side and ignore the other dog and "leave it" when I ask...etc. The conversation can go on and on and on...
Often times, about 98% of the time, when someone starts the conversation in this way I have described above, they free feed their dog. The dog's food bowl is always full. It's a smorgasboard that they can come and eat whenever it pleases them. This is huge in the thought process of a dog. Food is very important to them. This nice human provides me food always and I have to do nothing in exchange. I have a nice home, water and food - "what do I need this human for?" Interesting thought, yes?
My first suggestion is to feed your dog twice a day. And when you do, ask your dog to do something in exchange for their food. By feeding 2 times everyday it gives you an opportunity to communicate with your dog. It gives you an opportunity to do some training. When my students say it's been a busy week and they didn't have time to train, I ask them, "did you feed your dog?" Of course, the answer is, "yes". Then I can gently remind them they had two wonderful opportunities to communicate and train with their dog! I will also share other easy peasy ways to incorporate training into your everyday routines...while drying your hair, while preparing dinner. Training can be incorporated in your schedule each and every day. Just ask me, I can help! :)
But here's your free tip for this beautiful Friday! Food is a great motivator, don't waste this opportunity you have every day - two times daily - seven days a week to ask your dog to engage with you and earn his food. They will love it and you will love the results.
For example, I ask for a sit - either by visual or verbal cue, sometimes a down - I switch it up. As I progress in my training, I have my dogs sit and wait and place the food bowl down and then give them their "release cue" to enjoy their food. Sometimes I ask for sit ups, sit/down -sit/down. Or touch and touch to stand. You get the picture and you can get quite creative. I don't know if you ever saw the video of several labs sitting in a row with their bowls in front of them while the man recites a prayer. At the very end of the prayer he says their "release word" and they dig in! It's fun and it's a great way to communicate with your dog.
If you have read my blog you know that dogs do get us. They understand our social gestures and our intentions. If you feel your dog is stupid...he'll live up to it. If you feel he is the smartest dog on the planet...guess what...he'll live up to it!
Dogs are amazing, intelligent creatures. We just have to ask to receive. If you don't like what your dog is doing...you have to know what you want your dog to do!
If you need help laying that communication foundation, call me. I can help!
In the meantime, Happy Trails!
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